When I was a kid I was pretty much forced to smell trouble coming. With the exception of a few family gatherings at big holidays I had to stay sharp to the subtle energies that could go viral at any moment in our home. With my Mother's schizophrenia and my Dad's temper and otherwise bad behavior it got to the point where my senses had a razor sharp edge. Knowing the other shoe would drop or worse yet a large boulder, I was trained for tragedy.
Rehearsing my death or otherwise violent demise and how I would survive was something I would often do. I felt that I needed a steady state of preparedness in order to insure my ultimate victory. In other words, stay alive. Trust in God or any other unseen force was just something that I could not count on. So far this mysterious force had only served to confuse and threaten me. What I had no way of knowing then was that by rehearsing my tragedies I was placing a request to the conscious universe to bring more to me. This constant fear was fueling coming events and what I so diligently prepared for arrived on time.
Come find out there are scientists now reporting evidence that we live in a conscious universe. Just by the very act of observation we find that our world appears before us. We see there is such a thing as quantum entanglement and evidence for how we are all undeniably connected. As science continues to discover more and more about how we create our experiential worlds I see a little more clearly my life and how it has developed. My life has not been all bad by any means but there are things I am afraid of and I know the power this fear has over me and what it systematically creates in my life.
Sensing danger in a world of constant turmoil is not a gift I am happy to have developed. However, I do see that I can rehearse a different story these days. I can embody the life I want and watch the unfolding of this literal universe give me what I am asking for. I can play-act as it were a life of more love and devotion, better health and well being...heck, even justice and peace. Maybe, just maybe the universe will play along and there will be a reversal to the many rehearsals I have played in my life. I believe this to be true for everyone and so as I walk in the light given to me I am pleased to think I am creating a better world for myself and for those with whom I am connected.