OFT MADE TO WONDER BY JIA APPLE

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7/20/2020

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Outside the rain has settled to a hazy drizzle. The rapid river of cars pass the house. I'm at my chair listening to music and drinking my coffee. Can you hear it? Our world is changing. I felt it rise in me this morning like a warm yeast over an oven set to bake. Could it be we are the bread of life?

Have you ever wondered why it is you feel the way you do? Or how you know the things you know? We are part of this great body, knitting our world together. Just as you dance in your home your dance radiates out into the river, into the stream and cuts through the rock. You do this. You are doing it now. So am I.

Listen, can you hear it? It is your voice echoing off the canyon walls and calling back to you. It is this moment telling you where you are and what your condition is. It is the cry from the womb. It is the song of the dance. The hawk circles above you because she can hear your heart and she joins your song. Then she plunges to her prey because she wants to share her song with you. Can you hear her story? It is the same as yours. It is the same as mine.

As we listen more closely the gates begin to open. The pouring in, the exploration, the many rooms. The levels go up and up and down and down. We listen so we may find our way. We won't know where we are going but we will always know where we are.
Always.

These fears will try and trick us into doubt but we will stop and know we exist. The moss grows on the north of the tree. The brightest star is our Mother and she loves us. We will find our way.

Then the ancestors will see you through the veils and will speak to us. They may come in our dreams, or in the closet of our darkest room. They will share the earthsong mingled with their heaven and hell time. We will eat this bread soaked in fine honey because their song is of the finest jewels. Then we will see so much more than who we are...and then, we will be there too.

Listen now and tell me, where are you? Are you here with me? I think you are. We have this sod in our hands. We are soaked in clay. We are mingled with water and air...waiting on the fire. Let us turn this earthen globe and fashion it a vessel. I will take mine and bring you water when you thirst. I will take the fruit and feed you. Will you feed me? Will you slake my thirst?

You are me. I am you.

This is how you know what you know. This is how I do too. This is how the bear sleeps, the trees bloom and the ravens come to the aid of despair. The knowing lives here along side of the predator. She abides in the grave and the baby's first breath. She is your soul's ears. She coddles you and spanks you. There is none so precious as she. We must place her in our satchel and protect her as our heart. She will serve us forever and never let us die. As well, we are precious to her and she will harbor us as her only lamb.

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